FAB Blog Post

Four Things Self-Care is Not

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“Eugh! I just need a break!”

Do you know that feeling when life is overwhelming and you just need some time for yourself?

Maybe you handle the first few minutes of your day with grace and ease, but then your kids need something, work is calling, you have to take the dog out or you’re behind on your projects.

Before you know it, you’re up to your eyeballs in everyone else’s needs. You find yourself thinking, “Seriously… what about me? I need a break.” OR “I need a vacation. ALONE!”
When you’re in the mix of all of this, it’s important to acknowledge you and your feelings and what you’re needing.

But it’s even more important to do something about it.

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about self-care. What it is and what it isn’t and how you can easily implement self-care into your daily life. Even if it sounds like a stretch right now.

You may be thinking… “I don’t have time for a massage, mani/pedi, or vacation right now. There’s no way.”


We discuss how self-care doesn’t have to be a special occasion.  Keep watching, reading, and listening to learn four common myths of self-care that can help you embrace and implement a daily self-care practice. 

Next time life is squeezing you in all the wrong ways, remember what self-care isn’t and what it is. Remembering this can help you lower your stress, gain more personal power and supercharge your self-care so you have the energy to move forward.

0-01 Self-care is Not Selfish — There was a recent study that shared how most women feel the need to take care of others in their home and at work. What happens is when you take care of everyone at home and everything at work, there’s little time to really take care of you.

We need to flip this paradigm on its head.  In actuality, you are the person who needs the most care, right? Doesn’t it make sense to really fill your cup up first? 

It’s essential when you’re giving your time and your energy to everyone else around you. 

Here’s a question to help you move out of the space of selfishness, to more self-preservation.

What can you do and think through to create a space of self-care and really put yourself first? 

Self-care is not mindless — In fact, it’s the opposite. There’s a lot of mindful practice that goes into supporting you with self-care tools and techniques to really help you physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

A great question to ask yourself around this is, “By doing this next self-care practice, will it bring me more calm, peace or joy?” Or whatever the feeling is that you’re desiring. Or is it going to make me contract? Is it going to really bring me down or leak energy from me?

You can think about this in terms of being expansive and open or feeling closed and contracted. Sometimes, you might have to do the self-care practice or exercise and get a feel for it.

There’s no right or wrong way to do this. You just have to get a feeling for it. Some things will work for you and other things won’t. Here’s a way to think about it. Take some time to think about how you’ll feel. Maybe where you want to do a self-care practice and you have two options; you can give yourself a day or a half-day at the spa—maybe getting a mani/pedi and a massage. Or, you can go on a shopping spree and spend tons of money.

What feels more expansive to you, or what makes you feel more contracted? You want to think about things in the short-term as well as the long-term. These tips are helpful to consider as you bring more mindfulness to your self-care practice.

Self-care Is Not Always “Extra” — By that, I mean that you don’t always have to be spending gobs and gobs of money to bring more self-care into your world.

In fact, some of the best self-care tools are free and accessible to you, any time of the day, and you can think about some of these practices as being sustainable. Some examples of free self-care tools include breathing, there’s a 4-7-8 breathing method that you can do at home or anywhere; a home yoga routine; or an Epsom salt bath on a daily basis.

Self-care is not limited to a specific time or day or occasion, or whenever you feel “deserving enough” — You can access self care any time, any day. Think about self-care more as a lifestyle where you can incorporate and start planning for yourself daily. You don’t have to wait for “self-care Saturday” or “self-care Sunday” to mix up a honey-avocado mask or take a big bubble bath.

You can access your self-care and really fulfill your needs, right now. Incorporating all these small self-care acts throughout the day, such as going to bed earlier or not picking up your phone first thing in the morning, all lead you to a happier, healthier life overall.

All of these are free and accessible to you. Just make sure that whatever self-care practice you choose sparks joy within you and it fills the need you’re looking for.


Bottom line: You get to define your self-care and what it looks like in your life—Your self-care is the gateway into self-love. Decide right now that your self-care is the number one priority. It doesn’t just fall out of the sky. You get to decide and plan for it. So make the decision right now to take care of yourself first.

Sure, you’ll need some new skills and some discipline to practice consistency. It may not be easy to set yourself up as a priority or to set some boundaries with friends or family. But the goal is not easy. The goal is self-care and love. This is what we need to focus on.

These four guiding principles of what self-care is not are the tracks to help you run your self-care routine. To stay the course and to remember what self-care truly means.

Now, let’s turn this insight into action!

Of the four pillars self-care is not, which one speaks to you the most? What’s one small and meaningful action step you can take today to add more self-care to your world?

You know your life the best. You know what your needs are. Think about what self-care really means to you and how you would define self-care in your life.

Leave a comment below and let us know.

Thank you so much for reading, watching, and participating and I’ll catch you next time on ETV.

Remember, self-care is self-preservation. And truly, self-care is the gateway to self-love.

With much love and support—